A Gay and a Non Gay
In a time where we're all threatened by a rhetoric of hate from the people in power; A Gay And A NonGay challenges our differences. No matter who you are, or what you're into, gay's and nongay's can & should be friends. 'Highly Recommended' Guardian 'One of the most fundamentally kind and funny podcasts in Britain' RadioTimes 'A hilarious take on love, friendship and sex' TimeOut An independent podcast from James Barr (@imjamesbarr) and Dan Hudson (@DanHudson). Find us on Insta, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook @gaynongay Get bonus content on Patreon, with our super exclusive fan feed
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Episodes
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Christmas If You're Queer
Friday, 20 December 2024
It's so nearly Christmas... but what does that mean if you're queer? On this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are exploring issues around chosen families and setting boundaries which often come up around this time of year for queer people. How do you ensure your loved ones are respectful during this time of festive cheer? And how much should you care about society's reaction to your supposed non-conformity? All of these reflections are contained within... Plus at the top of the episode, James & Dan address the challenges of dealing with online trolls - particularly when P...
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Ageing Twinks & Gay Cruises with Joe Sutherland
Wednesday, 11 December 2024
Do you have an imagined feud with a celebrity? Well, this weeks guest certainly has a story to tell! James and Dan are joined by comedian Joe Sutherland for a rousing edition of A Gay And A NonGay. The trio talk about ageing in the gay community (and the concept of 'twink death') and the societal changes impacting how older LGBTQ+ individuals are perceived. How deep does the generational divide go? Plus, Joe shares his experience on a gay cruise and tries to bring the idea to life for Dan! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: @gayn...
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Getting Into The Holiday Spirit!
Wednesday, 4 December 2024
It's officially the holiday season and we're delving into some of our holiday traditions (and stresses) and how they differ between gays and, well, nongays. From musical theatre (which is surely an LGBTQ+ staple?!) to family expectations, how do the holidays differ based on your sexuality? Plus, following on the internet trend, Dan contemplates organizing a Jamie Dornan lookalike competition, while James reflects on the pressures of having to frequently discuss their sexual orientation... The holidays - you can't live with em, but you can't live without them! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTo...
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Are Straight People A Hoax?
Wednesday, 27 November 2024
Do you agree with Bob The Drag Queen that straight people are a hoax? On this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are unpicking the societal constructs around heterosexuality and accepting fluidity in sexual preferences. Whilst James supports Bob's viewpoint, Dan has a more historical perspective on human sexuality and the conversation expands to the nuances of bisexuality and asexuality, and the subconscious influences on sexual identity. If that all sounds very heavy... it isn't! We promise it's funny too... we promise! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram...
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Feeling Like A Spare In Your Relationship?
Wednesday, 20 November 2024
This episode isn't about that Prince Harry memoir - no, this week on A Gay And A NonGay we're talking about the concept of 'spares' in relationship. A 'spare' is much like a plastic bag drifting through the wind: having a back-up partner ready in case your plastic bag, well, breaks. James and Dan are debating the ethics around 'spares' in relationships and also diving into the controversy surround the enhanced measures for straight men at The Last Dinner Party's concerts, an all-female rock band with a strong queer following, questioning whether these practices are justified or discriminato...
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Shoe Sizes, Bed Sharing & Overhead Lighting
Wednesday, 13 November 2024
Do you know your shoe size? Well, before we start outrage... on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are tackling some of the top-tier stereotypes that are thrusted upon the community. After all, what do straight men and gay women have in common? Apparently they don't know their own shoe size! Also on this weeks episode: When is it alright to share a bed with your friend? From the complexities of sharing beds with friends of the opposite set to tackling societal norms, James and Dan break through the patriarchy to once again put the world to rights. Follow A Gay & A Non...
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The Triumphant Journey of Tia Kofi
Wednesday, 6 November 2024
When it comes to the Drag world... you don't get much better than the current Queen of the Mothertucking World, Tia Kofi! Having recently won RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs The World Tia has been using their reign to shine a spotlight on important matters - from LGBTQ+ rights to the queerest event of the year (other than Pride), the Eurovision Song Contest, where she hosted the Turquoise Carpet. Tia joins James and Dan for an eye-opening conversation about the pressures of drag, how to overcome self-doubt, songwriting as a therapy and, of course, all things Drag Race. Listen to Tia Kofi's podca...
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We're Award Winners! (And A Long Story)
Wednesday, 30 October 2024
We're award winners! A Gay And A NonGay recently won the Independent Podcast Award for Best Sex, Love & Relationships and have been shortlisted at the British Podcast Awards! In this weeks episode, James and Dan talk about the importance of awards and Dan tells a not-convoluted story about how he missed the awards! Elsewhere in the episode, they talk about the idea of gay wrestling to determine sexual roles. From 'gay spacho' to 'horse fair', they tackle stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding common myths. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gayno...
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Big Feet, Big... Energy?
Wednesday, 23 October 2024
Pubs, they're a British institution. But, in this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are exploring the cultural differences between gay and nongay people when it comes to the drinking hole: cleanliness, atmosphere and even drinkware. In non-drinking news, this week we're tackling the contentious phrase "fannying around" and learning and its offensive, historical context. Does the phrase need to (finally) pass away? Plus, can you guess which country leads to a conversation about big dick energy? It's not the one you're thinking of! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay ...
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Traffic Cones On Your Head
Wednesday, 16 October 2024
Have you ever put a traffic cone on your head? On this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay, we're starting off with a serious (not) debate about headwear, after a listener questioned if gay people participate in this holy ritual. As the conversation turns more serious, James and Dan are discussing female and Queer aggression towards straight men and the use of comedy as a form of protest. When does it all go too far, and when is it completely justified? Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: @gaynongay Website: gaynongay.com Email Us:...
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Humour Is A Great Form Of Therapy with Rob Madge
Wednesday, 9 October 2024
We are joined by a modern-day icon of the theatre world on this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay! Rob Madge first rose to prominence as a child actor, appearing in the West End productions of Mary Poppins and Oliver!. Rob gained mainstream popularity for the WhatsOnStage Award-winning and Olivier Award-nominated autobiographical show My Son's A Queer (But What Can You Do?) in 2023. Rob joins James and Dan for a theatrical episode of the podcast - talking about the role of supportive families and communities for Queer performers, even through traumatic events such as when the Broadway run...
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What's Hair Dye Got To Do With It?
Wednesday, 2 October 2024
Why do gay people always bang on about being themselves... and then die their hair? Homophobia to one side - on this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James & Dan talk about how personal choices like hair styles and clothing can be used to reflect your true identity. Also on this weeks podcast, we dive into gender neutral bathrooms and self-identification laws after a listener says that they feel unsafe in gender neutral spaces due to past traumas. Should safety concerns outweigh the needs of marginalised communities? Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouT...
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Are You More Than A Gay Best Friend?
Wednesday, 25 September 2024
We're back with a new episode of A Gay And A NonGay and this week we're diving into the world of relationships - and all of the complexities that can with them. James and Dan talk about the stereotype of having (or being) a 'gay best friend'. What does it mean, and is it a bad thing? They also debate the idea of ownership between partners, and explore unconventional dating apps like Sniffies and the ethical issues surrounding them. It's all a changing landscape... Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: @gaynongay Website: gaynongay.co...
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All It Was & All It Could Have Been
Wednesday, 18 September 2024
Now that the Summer seems to be officially over (thanks, weather!), us here at A Gay And A NonGay HQ are reflecting on all it was, and all it could have been. Whilst Dan was flying between London and New York, James was at Edinburgh Festival with his new show. But you know what we all were doing? Reacting to Oasis' reunion! Outside of our Champagne Brat summer discussion, James and Dan also discuss the phrase "fannying around" and explore its gendered connotations. It is just out of date... or also harmful? Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynonga...
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It's A Lesbian Renaissance with GIRLI
Wednesday, 11 September 2024
A Gay And A NonGay is officially back from the Summer break! And we're back with a bang as singer-songwriter GIRLI sits down with James & Dan to talk about the lesbian renaissance in pop culture. We're diving into the history of the term 'lesbian' and the matriarchy, as well as the unique experience of being a Queer woman. Amongst that, the trio talk about the different ways that queer and straight men navigate societal expectations... and we get a sneak peek at GIRLI's upcoming projects and tour plans! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Fa...
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From Queer Joy to Rage with Reuben Kaye
Wednesday, 7 August 2024
Looking for unapologetic honesty? This weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay delivers exactly that as James and Dan are joined by Australian singer, writer, performer and comedian Reuben Kaye. The trio dive deep into queer culture - addressing the spectrum from Queer joy to Queer rage, as well as Reuben's experience with homophobia and cancel culture. Along the way, we learn about the importance of faking it until you make it, the difference between social dynamics in Australia and the UK and how Reuben found his home in cabaret. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynong...
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Dating Whilst Discovering Yourself
Wednesday, 31 July 2024
Following last weeks conversation about gay stereotypes, this week James and Dan are diving into another myth: that all gay people know each other! Hint: It's, obviously, not true. The question leads onto a conversation about social media habits and the awkwardness that can come with liking people's posts online. This weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay ends with a discussion around polyamorous dating. James and Dan offer their reflections on navigating relationships whilst discovering yourself. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: ...
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Why Do Gays Dance Better? (& Other Stereotypes)
Wednesday, 24 July 2024
On this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay we're discussing two unavoidable questions that have been plaguing the community for years: the so-called 'gay voice' and... why gay people are seemingly so much better at dancing? OK, maybe not. Dan and James tackle these subjects through the lens of internalised homophobia and how stereotypes can lead to feelings of exclusion from the queer community. To prove the point, we try to guess people's sexualities based on their voices (hint: it's not straight-forward!). Plus, James shares details about his new Edinburgh Fringe show. Follow A Gay & A ...
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New York vs London Dating with Bright Light Bright Light
Wednesday, 17 July 2024
We have a special guest on A Gay And A Non-Gay this week... it's 4x Top 20 charting artist Bright Light Bright Light! The Welsh-born, New York-based artist talks with James and Dan about the differences in dating cultures between New York and London as well as the importance of self-love and redefining our perceptions of love and relationships, particularly with the pressures put on love in the LGBTQ+ space. Plus they speak about BLBL's collaboration with Elton John! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: @gaynongay Website: gaynonga...
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Hell, Toes and Unasked Questions
Wednesday, 10 July 2024
Talk about twists and turns... this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay spans spans from the afterlife to unexpected Grindr encounters in Bali. James and Dan kick off by pondering a fear of going to hell before talking about uncomfortable family dynamics and persistent questions from loved ones. They also tackle a listener dilemma about dealing with a non-accepting grandparent. This weeks episode is somewhere between candid, thought-provoking and moments where you will think "wait... what did you just say!". Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynon...
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Failed Pop Stars & Dating Someone In The Closet
Wednesday, 3 July 2024
Pride Month might have come to an end... but every month is Pride Month on this show! Looking back at this years Mighty Hoopla, James talks about the relationship between gay people and 'failed' pop stars as well as the importance of safety and inclusivity at festivals. In this weeks advice segment, James and Dan explore the challenges faced by a listener who is out and dating someone who isn't and how to maintain authenticity whilst supporting a partner still figuring themselves out. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: @gaynongay...
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How Do You Know... If You've Never Done It?
Wednesday, 26 June 2024
This week, James and Dan are tackling listener questions around challenging assumptions about sexuality. In this weeks "Non-Gays Can't Say", Josh from Glasgow asks a provocative question around how you truly know if you're gay... if you've never been with a woman. The discussion shifts to recent comments made by the Pope, leading to a conversation around the complexities of religion and homophobia and there's a listener question about flirty behaviour towards a colleague. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: @gaynongay Website: gay...
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Why We Still Need Pride Month
Wednesday, 19 June 2024
With the pendulum swinging and violence towards the LGBTQ+ community on the rise, this week James and Dan are discussing why Pride Month is still so important. They talk about issues ranging from violence to conversation therapy and discriminatory laws, whilst also delving into James' personal experience with domestic abuse and the challenges of speaking out. Advocates and allies have never been more important than right now! Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gaynongay Instagram: @gaynongay YouTube: @gaynongay Facebook: @gaynongay Website: gaynongay.com Email Us: us@gaynongay.com Learn mor...
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When Did "Just Sex" Stop Being Enough?
Wednesday, 12 June 2024
James and Dan are back with a bonus Dear Queerdrie episode, answering a listener's question: when did 'just sex' stop being enough? Let us know what you think on our socials @gaynongay or email us with your opinions and dilemmas - us@gaynongay.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Some Men In London: A Conversation with Peter Parker About Gay History
Wednesday, 5 June 2024
Happy Pride Month! In this episode, James and Dan are in conversation with writer and historian Peter Parker to discuss his new anthology series Some Men In London. The books explore discovered memoirs, letters and documents which depict what life was truly like for gay men in London between the 40s and late 50s. Both volumes are available to purchase now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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How To Find Gay Friends In Your 30s
Wednesday, 29 May 2024
How do you go about making male gay friends as a man in your 30s? Are heterosexual people allowed to use terms like 'top/bottom' and 'pillow princess'? And how does a closeted Hip-Hop MC go about embracing who he really is without risking his career? James and Dan explore it all in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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A Conversation with Eurovision's 2024 Winner Nemo
Wednesday, 22 May 2024
James and Dan caught up with the winner of 2024 Eurovision, Nemo. They chat about how the winning single was created, what's the tea on the dropped trophy and advice for anyone who is non-binary and struggling with their coming out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Can identity exist without labels?
Wednesday, 15 May 2024
James and Dan use a previous listener dilemma as a starting point for a wider discussion around labels and identity. They also answer the question of why gays and lesbians don't get along. Listen back to the chat with Helen Scott here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Is it toxic for gays to be anti-pride?
Thursday, 9 May 2024
Why are so many gays anti-pride? Is it internalised homophobia? Plus - are bisexuals just greedy? Dan ran the London Marathon in 3h 27! You can help him help Marie Curie here. Get tickets to see James’ new show at www.jamesbarrcomedy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Is monogamy a hoax?
Wednesday, 1 May 2024
James and Dan react to RuPaul saying that monogamy is a hoax. Is there such thing as monogamy with men, and is it a different script for gays and nongays? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Chris Blackmore (24th December)getting you through the day
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